Big takeaways from Megan Thee Stallion’s documentary

It’s been nearly two years since a jury convicted rapper Tory Lanez of shooting Megan Thee Stallion after a party in Los Angeles in July 2020. Now, in a new documentary, Megan Thee Stallion, whose real name is Megan Pete, is taking the public through tumultuous years leading up to Lanez’s criminal trial in December 2022.

In “Megan Thee Stallion: In Her Words,” the rapper provides an in-depth look at the grief she endured following the death of her mother from a brain tumor in 2019 and the mental health issues that stemmed from the shooting. She spoke candidly about the loss of her mother, the betrayal of her childhood friend Kelsey Harris — who supported Lanez after the shooting — and her fight for justice as Lanez, along with bloggers and gossip sites, disparaged her on social media in music videos and more.

Critics “have run my damn name through the ground so bad. And I think it’s because of how I am and what I talk about and how I look,” Megan, 29, says in the documentary, Now on Prime Video. “The betrayal, the constant online torture, everything that happened after the shooting definitely made it a hundred times worse.”

The documentary marks the first time Megan has spoken at length about the shooting and her mental health since the criminal trial. The 112-minute film features interviews and real-time video footage of Megan over the years — from her 2021 graduation from Texas Southern University to her appearance at Lanez’s criminal trial. Addressing fans at a screening in Los Angeles on Wednesday, she said she ultimately wanted to take control of her own narrative.

Here are the biggest revelations from “Megan Thee Stallion: In Her Words.”

Megan says she fears being targeted while performing

In the years leading up to the trial, Megan endured an onslaught of online harassment from those who supported Lanez, whose real name is Daystar Peterson. The critics, she said, were influenced by a host of bloggers, podcasters and social media accounts relentlessly casting doubt on Megan’s account of being shot.

Even earlier this week, Megan’s lawyers filed a lawsuit against commentator Milagro Gramz, accusing her of being a “mouthpiece” and a “paid surrogate” for Lanez during and after the high-profile criminal case. In the documentary, Megan often speaks somberly or through tears when describing the harassment. In one scene she talks about fearing for her life.

“Guys online say, ‘You should have been shot in the head. He should have finished the job. He should have killed your a–. You always twerk, b—-, you deserved what you got,'” recalled Megan.

“I can’t separate trolling from real life,” she says. “Am I safe performing in front of thousands of people? I don’t know who in this crowd.”

She spent a month in a psychiatric institution

Megan described a downward spiral amid the media storm over the shooting, and she said she experienced suicidal thoughts for the first time. “I’d rather not live with this than have to live with this,” she says.

The mental issues were only exacerbated by the burglary of her home in 2022. Two men broke into Megan’s Los Angeles home while she was in New York City preparing to host “Saturday Night Live.” One night after the break-in, Megan said she was having trouble breathing and called 911.

“I thought I was dying before I left for therapy,” she said. “It was like three days. I didn’t get out of bed and I’ve never felt like this in my life,” she said, adding that she “stayed under the roof and … cried every day.”

She ultimately underwent mental health treatment for a month. She said she worked with a therapist daily to process the shooting and experienced several forms of therapy during that month.

Megan explains why she refused to be intimate with Lanez

In an April 2022 interview with CBS News’ Gayle King, Megan said she was afraid to tell the police about the shooting to protect her friends from police brutality, online criticism and claims that she and Lanez had a sexual relationship. She told King at the time that she and Lanez had not been intimate, but said in the documentary that she had sex with him “once, maybe twice, in one drunken night.”

A clip of the admission has circulated on the Internet, with some social media users condemning Megan, while others declare that their sexual relationship does not disprove that Megan was shot.

In the documentary, Megan expressed frustration with the focus on her sexual relationships.

“They’ve made me a villain for being this type of person. It started to make me second-guess myself,” she said, referring to her overtly sexual lyrics and public image. She said sometimes she even found herself got caught up in focusing on her sex life instead of shooting. “I’m like, ‘Wait, that’s not what this is about!'”

Nneka Onuorah, who directed the documentary, told NBC News that any criticism of the scene has been drowned out by the outpouring of support for Megan since the film’s release.

“There will always be different opinions, but all that matters in this film is that Meg feels she has to tell the truth from her lens,” Onuorah said. “And that’s the main thing in the movie, and that’s the success of it, that she was resilient and she’s prevailed and she’s thriving right now.”

Her path to testifying in court

Megan said she was in a better place after the mental health retreat, but was still nervous about testifying against Lanez in the headline-grabbing trial.

“I have to show up for Megan Pete,” she recalled thinking about the day of her testimony, adding, “Today is not about trying to look strong. It’s okay to be sad . I have to stop avoiding it.”

A jury convicted Lanez, 32, who pleaded not guilty, on three felony charges in December: assault with a semiautomatic firearm, carrying a loaded, unregistered firearm in a vehicle and discharging a firearm with gross negligence. He was later sentenced to 10 years in prison.

She cried and hugged her staff when she heard about the verdict. For Megan, her testimony and convictions were greater than her.

“If it wasn’t me and I was out looking in and something happened to me, I wouldn’t want to come forward,” she said. “If this famous lady can have it happen to her and nothing is done about it, what the hell does that say to someone who’s just a civilian who doesn’t have the resources to fight?”

Years later, Megan has a number of successful albums and an arena tour below her belt. But she said in the documentary that she still struggles with critics who condemn her for speaking out about the shooting.

If you or someone you know is in crisis, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255, text HOME to 741741 or visit SpeakingOfSuicide.com/resources for additional resources.